The first time I was hospitalized in 2007 a friend had heard about it. But he didn't know the reason I was in the hospital. When I told him, he said, "at least it's not cancer." I didn't say anything to him. But later I would become very upset about his comment. Mental illness is just as serious as physical illnesses. You can die from mental illness just like you can die from a physical ailment. I never did say anything to my friend. Fast forward six years. When I was hospitalized for the second time in 2013 I finally said something. I even told him about suicide and lack of impulse control. He apologized. And of course he didn't remember saying this to me. I'm glad that I finally said something.
Around 2007/2008, I went to Washington, DC to visit a few friends from college who were in law school. One of my friends was telling us about one of her classmates who had a nervous breakdown. She ended the story by saying, "well, not everyone can cut it." I was highly offended by her statement. But this friend did not know about my own struggles with bipolar disorder. And again, I did not speak up. I regret this to this day. I have never called her out on this.
When I was depressed in 2006, my mom snapped her fingers in my face and said "snap out of it." If only depression worked that way. I knew I was being irrational; I knew I was harboring negative thoughts. But I was powerless to do anything about it. Especially since I didn't receive treatment (therapy or medicine) for the depression.
I give you these three examples to caution you against making insensitive comments. You never know what another person is going through. But try to treat people kindly. "Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about."
I was hospitalized three times in my life and all three times were filled with people not understanding why I was depressed and suicidal. My brother was angry, my mother sad, and my father. Well, my father's grand advice when I was suicidal was: "There are two things to do with bodies: bury them and burn them." Not once did he visit me while I was hospitalized. Each comment that they made cut me deep. I wish it was that easy to just shake off the depression like a bad dream and be "normal." I would love to not have my thoughts constantly taking laps around the darkest parts of myself, suffocating me until I almost give up.
ReplyDeleteA lot of people don't understand mental health issues and are quick to make insensitive comments. I'm hoping that one day, this will cease.
It is hard when you don't have emotional support from friends and family. I'm sorry that your father said that to you :( I too hope that people learn to think before they speak. Until then, we must continue to love ourselves, to take care of ourselves and to surround us with people who genuinely care about us.
Delete"Some people are chronically unemployed or on disability. They've let their illness dictate the course for their life."
ReplyDelete