Fear of Pregnancy

Bipolar women used to be encouraged not to have children. In fact, I didn't think I wanted children. I was afraid. Bipolar women have a greater chance of developing postpartum depression. And I didn't know if some imaginary kid that I wasn't sure I wanted was worth my sanity.

But I'll be 31 in August. My cut-off age for children is between 36 and 38. So I only have a few more years. I don't want to be 70 with a kindergartner! 

I always thought I'd have children early. My mom had her three children before 24. Most of the women in my family had teenage pregnancies. In fact, my freshman year of college, my boyfriend and I wanted kids then. Although in retrospect, I'm glad I didn't get pregnant.

I have a cousin who's a psychiatrist. I asked her about a possible pregnancy. This is what she had to say:

"You will have to come off the Lithium and the Temazepam to have a baby; they are both Category D drugs which means unsafe in pregnancy. Latuda is Category B so it supposed to be safe in pregnancy. If you could be stabilized on that throughout the pregnancy, you would be ok. There is a significant risk for postpartum relapse in bipolar disorder, also a risk for postpartum psychosis. If you choose to become pregnant, your psychiatrist should see you more often during the pregnancy to watch for symptoms and do medicine adjustments."

If you're interested in learning more about maternal mental health check out these links: Bipolar Disorder in Pregnancy and these two from The New York Times (they're both really interesting and really sad): Thinking of Ways to Harm Her and After Baby, An Unraveling.